The views and opinions expressed into the points are those of the host of the program and its guests.

They do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of public media.

Welcome to the point.

Today we're joined by two leaders whose efforts have significantly shaped the conversation on equality, inclusion and community across northwest Ohio.

Lexi Heyman Staples is the founder of Toledo Pride, an organization whose vision helped established one of the region's most prominent celebrations of LGBTQ plus pride and progress.

Kwinlyn Tyler also joins us.

She's the chairwoman of the Board of Equality Toledo, an organization dedicated to promoting fairness, opportunity and advocacy for everyone together.

They have contributed to building a stronger, more inclusive community.

Today, they will share the challenges and future of the movement.

This is to the point I'm Donnie Miller.

Connect with us on our social media pages.

But you know that you also know to email me at Doni underscore Miller at wgte dot org And for this episode and any others that you might like to see.

Please return to that point.

We talk to the point.

We are excited to have these wonderful folks with us this month, this today, talking about really a really, really important topic.

And I'd like to introduce those of you who don't know, Lexi Heyman staples, who's the executive director and founder of Toledo Pride.

Welcome.

So appreciate that you're spending this time with us.

And Kwinlyn Taylor who is the board chair of Equality Toledo.

Welcome, welcome, welcome.

Thank you so much.

We've got this is such a huge topic, and I want to spend some time talking about the importance of celebrating, too.

So I don't want to let that get lost in, in these other important things.

But when we talk about LGBTQ plus progress and the challenges and the struggle, no denying that we've made progress.

But have we really made significant progress or are we just patent ourselves on the back prematurely?

Lexi I mean, I think we've made significant progress.

Certainly, you know, as a youth, I would have never thought that I'd be married and have kids.

And that is an amazing feeling.

I'm so thankful for that.

We have so much work to do, and we certainly seen a backslide in the last few years from where where we had really seen a good deal of acceptance and celebration.

So I think more work is to be done and even harder now.

Harder now.

Absolutely.

I mean, I think Lexie's right.

We, you know, we have the right to marry.

And there are some other really great things.

But when you take a look at the a step back, we've lost a lot of footing in a lot of places in our community, specifically, our trans folks have lost a lot of rights.

Right?

They are constantly being legislated against.

We have a lot of more people who feel emboldened by some of our politicians in the administration to be more outwardly hateful.

I think it's not just about what we've gained.

It's also at this point where we feel like we're trying to hold ground.

Sure, we should be moving forward.

That's exactly what does that feel like?

I want people to know what that feels like.

It feels frustrating, right?

Because we stand on the shoulders of other people.

Right.

Lexi started this here in Toledo after knowing that we as Toledo once didn't have something for our own.

And it's great.

But also in that time we've seen so many things change.

But the fact that we feel like we're fighting just to hold space again where we were like, yeah, we're out, we're proud.

Here's this thing that we should be doing a significant backslide for.

For me, it's been it has been an exciting 17 years.

This will be our 17th festival.

And Quindlen may not know this history, but Sherry, Pepe, some other people from Oklahoma were the first people to sit down with the few ragtag volunteers.

We have virtually the pride that we were like, we're going to make this happen in our city, which is really amazing.

But simultaneously, our trans siblings are going through a lot.

People who are gender nonconforming, like myself, feel more uncomfortable in restrooms than I've felt in over a decade.

And, you know, find myself avoiding situations where I have to go to the bathroom when I'm in a public space, and that is a newer, revived experience, if you will like, for me at least.

And I don't know if you have people talking about that inside of Equality Toledo spaces, but yeah, certainly it certainly has become more uncomfortable in the last several years.

Absolutely.

And we're hearing also from our community that there are places that they would have gone, you know, even five, ten years ago that now they're like, I just don't feel as safe, right?

You know, I don't want to be holding my partner's hand in public or for to your point, for our siblings who are gender nonconforming or trans, even the way that they seek health care has changed.

We have a lot of people who can't even see health care in our community anymore because of the way that it's legislated.

It affects your everyday life.

Even decisions like where you go to the bathroom when you're in public, or can I present myself in a certain way?

And not that those things didn't exist.

I just also feel like people feel more emboldened to say something to, you know, what's really interesting, is that the same people who supported the movement forward, the the the progress forward are the folks who are quiet as we slide back.

Why is that?

I would like to say it's a little bit of fear, right?

I think as, like a, as a queer black woman, it is something where speaking up does come with a little bit of r But I also feel like there is a lot of time people feel like there's not support to not just within our own community, but say something does happen.

You speak up.

Your retaliated against people don't feel supported by our institutions like our police or our state, to really feel like if someone were to cause harm against me, I'd actually be protected.

And that's a big scary thing.

And in this age of social media to where people are doxing other folks or swatting them, for example, it is a hard thing to be vocal and to continue to be vocal because it literally means you're physical and sometimes psychological safety are at risk as well, right?

And I mean, like a lot of people have been fighting this same fight for a very long time.

So I think, I think the younger generations came into what felt like a larger degree of comfort and, and, you know, feeling it was okay to hold hands.

That would not have certainly been something I would have done in my teens or even young 20s without being very cognizant of it.

And now that seems to be something that you're getting a different head turn on or a different reaction to.

So for the safety of people, I think allies seem to be the ones that we need the most support from.

You know, it's not it's not the LGBTQ plus community so much that's not supportive that we do have those inside of our community that are not supportive of the entire community.

And that's that's also frustrating, right?

What's a little more about that?

Well, you have people who are LGBT who align with values that don't align with them, and that is a to me, that's a really it's a really hard thing to watch when you watch people vote for legislation that is harming them and then vocally fight for it and say it'll be fine.

There's nothing wrong that that is terrifying to watch.

But also everyone.

I mean, it really, truly shows that we are an incredibly diverse community.

You're like, well, that's a that's a whole choice, isn't it?

Is a choice.

Yeah.

It also talks about the complexity, the multi-layered and the familiar connections.

Yeah.

Exactly that.

It's like you your personality is stacked upon your experience.

And so if you've experienced comfort and safety in places where you know money is involved, perhaps you might you might find yourself voting differently based on your fiscal.

Yeah.

You know, it's like it's like some people are voting for their money before they're voting for their rights.

And that's a wild to me.

But but but it also to that point, it's about the folks that we are electing to being ten toes down, for lack of a better phrase, on supporting the entire LGBTQ plus community, right?

Oh, people want to stop it.

They want to stop at some of the letters or B or G, but they don't want to include the T in the gender expansiveness.

Right?

And it's that slippery slope of when you decide who you're going to exclude from protection, you're opening the door for exclusion for everyone.

Everyone.

Sure.

And I mean, that's that's some of what we see in some of the legislation that's been brought forward in the last couple of years.

I identify as a lesbian, I identify as female, but I'm gender nonconforming because I don't look like what you know is expected or most, most popular for females.

And that being said, there's legislation that talks about what clothing you wear, how the clothing is gendered, and how many pieces of said clothing you can wear before there could be an issue.

And that comes straight out of the 1950s, that comes straight up stonewall policing.

I'm not familiar with that legislation, unfortunately.

If you look at what is popular, popularly called the drag ban, if you read the legislation inside of that, they talk about if you're wearing a more than three pieces of clothes, that clothing that are not identified with the the gender you were, you were identified as at birth.

So me wearing this shirt, this vest and this tie, I've already, you know, I've already put myself under scrutiny just from that.

And those rules, those laws, those outdated takes come right from the 1940s and 1950s, when they were trying to make sure that they kept our community down and by force.

Yeah.

And force and fear, which is which is why we saw the Stonewall uprising.

And pride was not started as a celebration.

Pride.

Pride began as a protest, as a riot.

Because there was there was violent and unfair practices being upheld against our community on a regular basis.

And people spoke out and then started to get mad, I get mad.

Yeah.

Quinlan, you mentioned earlier that policing, or at least I think I heard you say that that policing was different in, in your in your community.

Yeah.

I think that for example, back to like if you call for help right from the police there is, there is a little bit of distrust to Lexie's point.

Stonewall started as a riot when the police came in and raided the bar.

She checked people to make sure that they were not doing anything illegal.

Literally checking to her point the clothing that you were wearing to make sure it align with your gender.

So we have to understand that, like there's a huge history of that within our community, but there is also a long history of maybe people calling for things and they don't feel like they're being heard or they are not sure, like, hey, I might call because someone attacked me, potentially because it's a hate crime.

Will the police actually care enough to like, make a report and follow up?

Or will I be brush to treat you in the same?

Yeah, treat you in the same way because I'm trans or I'm a person who's gender nonconforming.

And so we have so many issues of people who say, like, this is happening to me, I want to report it, but I'm not even sure that the police will care.

Hold that point.

Okay.

Hold that point.

We're going to go away.

We have to come right back.

We are going to go away.

But we will be right back.

Please, please join us.

To me, community means connecting to others.

I'm Doni Miller and welcome to the Point.

I love PBS kids.

We're a community committed to education.

Discover new ideas, dive into exciting subjects, and engage with the world around you.

I would send them personally a t shirt.

Crime doesn't pay in the old West End.

Pass it on.

That's how we cleaned up the neighborhood.

Vision loss for people is not the end.

It's the story.

It's the next chapter.

WGTE Public media invites you to get out and play day.

Monday through Friday.

It's the 419 powered by WGTE with Matt Killam, Gretchen DeBacker, I'm Kevin Mullen.

What can people expect on the show?

Give me an hour.

A reminder of why this is a great place to live, work and play.

Where you come to watch, listen and learn.

Connect with us on our social media pages and email me at Doni underscore miller at wgte dot org And if you'd like to see this episode again, and I guarantee you that you will, please go to wgte dot org to the point.

I have two amazing advocates for the LGBTQ community and humanity in general.

I want to make that point very clear.

We aren't talking about LGBTQ plus folks as though they're different than the rest of the world of human beings.

And I want folks to understand that we have Quinlan Tyler, who's the board chair of Equality Toledo, and Lexi Hammond Staples, who was the executive director and founder, I might add, of Toledo Pride.

When we went to break, you were talking about just the fear of not being able to feel protected because you're afraid of, because of the fear of being treated differently by folks who you would call to protect you.

Now, whether that's true or not true.

You know, perception is often reality, right?

Right.

So, yeah, I, I think that again, we have to acknowledge the history of where we came from and, and the institutions that are th And that's not to say that every person's experience is a monolith, right.

But I also think that especially in times like this, it's made our community care more important, right?

It's made us being the caretakers of each other immensely important, right?

We have always been historically responsible for our own safety.

And I think in a time where we are seeing a lot of ground loss and, and just the feeling of discomfort and safety, it's also paramount for us as community members and I mean all community members to look out for each other.

Right?

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

And so for those folks who would who would say, look, the strides have been so significant.

We don't need organizations anymore, like Equality Toledo.

And why are we having celebrations?

Because we just don't need that anymore.

You would say, what is if I didn't know, but say it anyway.

I would say, clearly you're not paying attention.

And that's not true.

But also I think being visible is is huge.

Celebrating joy is a monument is like thing.

And it is a tool in resistance.

Right.

And I think by being out and loud, invisible and saying we're allowed to party in the street just like you, why aren't we even talking about us partying in the street when when other people gather, we never talk about it, right?

Like when other festivals are being held or other people are out celebrating, whether it be their religion, birthdays, whatever it be, we never seem to have the same type of conversation about like, oh, why are we having, you know, Greek Fest or German-American Fest?

It's about just we're out.

We are people who are just out in the streets celebrating together.

But that's also why it's so important, the fact that we have a different type of conversation for our celebrations means that we clearly need to have them.

Right?

And I mean, that's people always say, why don't we have a why don't we have a veterans event?

Or why don't we have a, an event to celebrate, you know, nurses, we should all those events, all of those events should happen.

You guys have to organize it.

The people who find that important, you're in charge of organizing that.

Pride is not taking away your ability to organize that equality.

Toledo is not taking away your ability to get service dogs to people in need.

We are servicing people that are in need in our community under the umbrella that that we have chosen to do this work in.

And so pride connects people to resources and more importantly, to businesses that want to be connected to our community.

And as we know, we vote with our money.

That is the main way that we vote as a community.

So if I'm going to go get a new roof, I'm going to look for a company that came to Toledo Pride as a vendor, if I am going to look for a new church community, I'm going to go to a church community that supports those in my community.

That's just the way that that's just the way that we're connecting people to the, the, the needs and the resources and, and the same thing as to your point that all of humanity needs all of these things that people want to, that want to be involved in going to get a hot dog, whatever the case may be.

I want to go to I want to spend my money with people who want me to spend my money with them.

Absolutely.

Clearly, this conversation needs to happen in a lot of different places.

We need to my perception, and correct me if I'm wrong, is that we need to repackage the conversation just to incorporate the fact that so much regression has happened.

How do you do that?

How do you do that?

How do you how do you have this conversation in places where people really need to hear it?

I think it starts with by having the the conversation.

And what I mean by that is there are spaces and places that I might not be in, Lexy might not be in, but we have allies or collaborators, as I also like to call them, who are in those spaces.

And it's important for you to be talking about these things in all spaces.

But it also is important that we talk about these things as they are, you know, not just sugarcoating like, oh yeah, you know, we have pride and there's all these great things.

Let's have a hard conversation.

We have pride.

But what have we lost in the last two years, five years, ten years, right.

Since marriage equality has passed, there has been a wave of pushback to get it stripped down.

Or Obergefell has been attempted to be challenged so many times.

It's insane.

And so I think it's also about having these conversations about, okay, yes, we may have a feeling of comfort because I also want to be very clear.

There's a feeling of comfort in some places, but that doesn't mean the reality is that there's comfort and safety in all places.

And we need to really start saying that out loud.

And it's having it's having the right, the right ally, not the perfect ally.

And so I think that we I think that we spend a lot of time saying, this person didn't do this, or this person didn't do that, or they didn't show up for this, or, you know, it's perceived that they are they are aligning in one certain way.

And if they're willing to go into those rooms and have the tough conversations on our behalf, then not only are they an ally to us, but they are a person whose mind we can change.

If we say, you're not the perfect ally, we don't want you to be associated with us.

We don't want your help.

We're only pushing away.

Further support for ourselves is how I feel.

I think.

I think perfect allies aren't born, they're made.

And so the only way you can, you know, it's.

I'm a vegan.

We talk about vegetarianism.

Right.

And only vegetarians turn vegan.

I mean, I mean, not only but, you know, 99% of people who are going to go vegan or vegetarian first, if you're not an ally, you're going to be a baby ally, and then you're going to be allowed ally.

You're not going to go from, you know, feeling bigoted to and, and you'll never feel that that's the correct term.

If you're if you're feeling those feelings that that won't that'll feel mean.

But if you're feeling like you're not accepting of this community and you don't know people from this community, you need to meet those people.

And some of us are very open to stupid questions.

I don't think any are stupid.

Let's go.

And then they become the most loud and proud allies you ever meet.

These are the mom Hugs people.

These are the people that are that are stopping.

They're stopping their family members from saying problematic things at the dinner table.

That's where it starts.

Is is at home?

Absolutely.

And I hate the also the argument to that point of like, oh, they are of a certain generation or a certain time.

Absolutely not.

I think that we need to stop assuming that people can't learn and grow and also be held accountable.

I'm sorry you're 87 year old.

Grandpa still is learning.

People are lifetime learners and it's never too old to be like, you know, like grandpa.

That's not appropriate, right?

And I feel the same way because, like, I think about my only my own family dynamics, right?

For example, like my dad is, is a man of a certain age, southern black, straight man.

Right.

And who he is as a person has immensely changed over my lifetime.

Right.

He went from not quite understanding what LGBTQ plus is to when I was introducing him to my friend group as adults, you know, risking what's the pronoun?

You know, he still doesn't quite understand how nine binary works, but he also understands that they said they would like to be called they.

And that's what I'm going to do, because for him, he goes, it's as simple as I want to be respected.

I want to give respect, respect, respect.

I want to ask a question.

We're running out of time.

The two of you are the most amazing advocates.

So much so excited to be here.

Thank you so much for being here.

Your journey could not have been easy and I don't mean to cross the line, so tell me if I do.

What gives you the strength?

What motivates you every single day to get up?

And let's say I have in my soul.

I feel like this is your talk all the time.

What?

What makes you powerful?

Like very uncomfortable teenager.

I was very uncomfortable and I did not feel welcomed or accepted or attractive or any of the things that you want to feel when you're when you're young and you're you're becoming a young adult.

And so I found my I found my people and I was like, oh, I get to choose who I spend my time with.

And that is so heartening.

And it really changes everything.

And it makes you want to give that feeling to the next generation.

That's that's me and it emboldens you.

And it's why, you know, Toledo Pride is 100% volunteer run without Quinlan coming in, being doing tickets or or helping at the door.

We don't we don't exist.

We need hundreds of volunteers to make it happen.

And we bring in an immense amount of money into the city and really affect the economic structure of our city for that weekend.

I'm so proud of that.

I want beyond the LGBT.

Right.

Okay, back to humanity.

Right back to humanity.

Quinlan, what motivates you?

I think it's the fact that I stand on the shoulders of other people.

I will say my experience as a young person was pretty positive as far as coming out.

But I also very early was taught that, like, my comfort came from the fight of others, and my comfort continues to come from the fight of others historically and today, and just who I am as a person.

I'm very much so like someone else's comfort or life, or them being able to thrive comes off of the work that I do, right?

Amazing.

And I want to continue to be the foundation for the next generation of people.

We are out of time.

Lexie.

When is the parade?

August 14th 15th.

Downtown 15th is a parade, right?

You can use volunteers.

Oh, hit us up.

Okay.

And where do they where do they do that?

Com.

Com.

Thank you all for being with us today.

I hope you heard some things that changed the way you think about things.

And we will see you next time.

On to the point.

Have a great day.

The views and opinions expressed into the points are those of the host of the program and its guests.

They do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of public media.

To the point is supported in part by viewers like you.

Thank you.