Announcer: The views and opinions expressed in To The Point are those of the host of the program and its guests.

They do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of WGTE public media.

Doni: There are few thing more difficult than parenting.

Many blame the ever changing family structures.

While some think the influence of external factors like the internet is the cause.

Regardless of the reason, studies cite strong families as essential to developing well-rounded children and a sustainable, productive society.

While discussing the importance of family structure is one thing, creating a solid one is quite another.

My guest today, Doctor Mark Williams and Doctor Tina Williams, have suggestions that are certain to help.

I'm Doni Miller and welcome... To The Point.

Connect with us on our social media pages.

You know that.

You can email me at doni_miller@wgte.org.

And for this episode and othe additional extras, please go to wgte.org/to the point.

There is no more important conversation on this planet than the value of families.

Families are the core of who we are as a society.

They are the core of who we become as a nation.

They are at the core of how we present our values to the rest of the world.

But lots of folks would say that that structure is in jeopardy right now.

We have two folks here who have something to say about that and have a few suggestions as to how we might turn the challenges that families are currently facing around.

We have Doctor Mark Williams and we have his sister, Doctor Tina Williams.

Welcome.

Welcome.

And there's another doctor at home, too.

Doctor John Williams of family of doctors.

Good for you.

Really good for you.

So one of the things as we were talking about, as I was thinking about the trouble that families are facing, the challenges that families are facing today, a number of things came up.

But as you guys in your journey, you as as, as someon who has a doctorate in theology and you as someone who has a doctorate in education, what do you what would you think the primary challenge facing families today is?

Tina: Let's just say the pressures of life, which is for us, recession and the things that are going on in the world.

I believe that a lot of families are impacted by that.

But more importantly, it's some of the thing as far as, like mental health.

I believe that a lot of people are still dealing with the ramifications of Covi 19 as we as it relates to grief.

And so mental health is a huge one.

As it relates to grief, isolatio Doni: Major impact on families, all of those things.

Would you agree?

Mark: Oh, most definitely.

I agree with everything she said.

And let's not forget about the trauma that a lot of families is facing at this time.

Yeah.

Doni How does one begin to recognize the impact of those things?

So we we go back to work.

We get back to our life the way that we seem to think that our life should go.

And we really, learn to push those things dow because you got to get through the day, right?

I mean, so how do you begin to recognize those issues?

Mark: Well, I don't know, doctor Tina may not remember, but as coming up at a grown up in our family, we always had a piano.

So for me, as a young boy like nine years old, eight years old, any time I face anything far, sadness, depression.

Back then, I know what depression, what depression, what depression was or oppression.

But if I faced some type of sadness or something that happens in the house, the first thing I will run to is my piano.

My dad was a jazz player.

My mother played the piano.

All of my sisters play piano.

All my.

Everyone plays the piano at the house.

But I will go straight to music.

Musi was always the key point for me that, the chords that I would play, the kind of milks and things in my heart.

And it kind of when I, when I was done playing, seemed like I had a better day or a better week.

Doni: What was your favorite song?

Mark: Well, I always wrote songs, so I.

It'd be like this.

I don't know why I wrote this one single called bike.

I don't know why I wrote that.

I didn't even make no sense.

No, but I left 2 to 2.

But that's what I wrote back.

But some of my favorite songs back then was the Hawkins family.

The Winans family, the Clark sisters.

So the man of.

Doni Your faith is all in your faith.

How many?

How many were in your household?

I want people to know how many people were fighting for that piano.

Mark: Well, actually, we had a humongous house.

We had six sisters there, five brothers there, a mom, a dad.

And it was always another family living with us.

Doni: Oh my gosh.

Mark: Always.

Doni: So your point i that families can find strength and maybe a little bit of solace and going to the thing that brings them comfort.

Oh, yes.

Bring some comfort.

Would you agree?

Tina: I definitely agree with that.

But I also know that, many families are suffering in silence.

Right.

And so communication is a tool, that they would need to use to just open up, even if it's a trusted counselor or a pastor or a mentor or someone that they can trust us.

And a daughter has wisdom.

I believe that communication is another tool that they can use to be able to overcome.

Doni: One of the hardest things on the planet, which.

Tina: Is the hardest thing on.

Doni: The hardest thing on the planet to do is to is to allow yourself to be vulnerable, correct?

And especially men, especially for men.

Very difficult.

You're smiling.

Mark: Yes.

Doni: Yeah.

It's very difficult for men to do to be able to, just say I'm feeling this way, I feel.

But what are the benefits to families if they find themselves being able if they if they just take that risk and they reach out to be vulnerable?

Tina: The benefit is the outlet bringing that trauma, that depression to the light.

Because whatever's in the dark seems to fester and causes us to have bad thoughts.

But the moment you bring it to light, you can see a brighter future.

You can begin to have resilience and look at things from a positive outlet, because you actually bringing that which you're suffering and oppressing, you're bringing it to light and it has to come out.

It's like getting that poison out of.

Doni: You, out of your system.

Tina: And when you get it ou of your system, you feel better.

So that's the benefit.

You feel better when you open up.

Yeah.

Doni: Yeah.

So in preparation for talking with the two of you today, I did some reading, and there were several studies out there that identified a list of issues that are affecting families today.

And I'd like to go through some of them with you just to just to hear your point of view.

One of them is the rate of the decline of marriage, and therefore the increase in the number of single, single parent homes.

Doni: What do you think about that?

Tina: That is correct.

Doni: Do you think so.

Tina: Many families are impacted by divorce.

Or separation.

And it really breaks down the family.

When you have a mother and a father in a home, that's the the model is the nuclear family.

But when that family is broke and the dad is out of the house or the mom, is out of the house because it can be either or.

That balance is not there anymore.

Normally when you have a mom and dad, you have balance.

But then when that parent is not in the house, you don't have that voice.

You don't have that support.

You need.

Doni: Both.

Absolutely.

You need the.

Mark: Doctor.

That's right.

I believe that.

Doni: What is it.

So a mom mom can't raise a man.

You know that.

That's saying a mo can't raise a boy to be a man.

Do you agree with that?

Mark: Yes.

I believe us.

Us men need our fathers.

It was.

It was very difficult.

Sometime, me and my brother and Bishop John, we kind of talk about a lot.

We've we've made it through because, we were I was 11 years old when my dad passed.

So he was in the house for, like, ten years.

We had ten years with him, and he gave us a whole lot of information, a lot of good wisdom, good words that I see now.

Let me share this with you first.

What I like about family and what I like abou a good father and a good mother.

When I was comin up, I had a stuttering problem and my mother would say, Mark Anthony.

I still have it.

Mark Anthony, slow down.

Slow down.

My mind be racing is racing now.

My mind be racing.

And I thank God because I have six sisters and brothers and a mother that built me so much that the stuttering doesn't bother me at all.

I can get on a platform.

I host an emcee.

All right.

I do it all and it doesn't bother me.

I preach, I teach.

So I love the fact that you can have some type of issue in your family or something.

It may be a, like a, a negative, but your family can make it a positive.

And sometimes they often when they give you, you talk.

When they go to mimic me, they talk like me.

It'd be so funny.

And it never bothered me to this day.

She's one of the ones to do it all the time.

To do it never bother me.

So I believe in saying that.

I believe that a father of men need our fathers.

There's just certain things that the father can give to us men that the mom just can.

Doni: Well you know, okay, so I'm going to I'm going to present this to you and to Anthony.

You will understand exactly what I'm saying.

One of the issues, though, that undermines the family and the things that you just said is that women, especially women of color, have a challeng finding partners that there are there are over overarching influences in this society that make it very difficult for women of color to find partners.

We can talk about the rate of incarceration.

We can talk about.

There are a number of issues that cause men of color not to be available.

And then, and I will say this, this is I think, important to mention.

Black women have never been value as the prettiest or the smartest or the the one that you want to you want to have next to you.

So that makes it difficult as well for families to form.

What do people do about that?

If families are the underpinning of this society, and if we need to focus on those things that make families better.

How do we address the fact that many women are having challenges, even beginning the things that you need to find it to to start a family?

Mark: Well, before I, Doctor Tina, start talking.

One thing I've done, I believe if we can spread the word and what I mean by spread the word is I took it upon myself as a young man because I have sisters that have kids.

So what I've done is I've decided to be with my other friends.

And I never talk down a woman that may have a baby if I wanted to because I have sisters to have.

Doni: So uplifting.

Mark: I always uplift.

I feel like if I got with the fellas and got to saying, I don't want, I don't.

I'm not going to talk to her.

She got one.

She have a daughter, she have a son.

I feel like once I spread that word, I talk about the word first spread the word.

And a lot of us men start thinking like that.

But I feel like what I want, the what I want for my family, I want for some somebody.

Doni: Else, Tina.

Tina: That makes a lot of sense.

And just like you said, spreading the word or empowering I think empowerment is so much more important for men to understand.

So just bringing that education, that awareness and then the experiences, what you were saying, Mark, how, you know, you have sister that have kids or what have you.

So empowerment in education.

Doni There are a ton of other issues that I hope we at least get to some in the second segment, like the impact of povert on families, the, the impact of of poor schools, you know under, underachieving schools.

And you certainly understand the impact of that bein a founder of Explorer Academy.

I want to talk about your concert and your conference.

Yes.

When we come back.

Okay.

So you'll stay with me?

Sounds good.

Alrighty.

We will be right back in just a moment.

Please stay with us.

Doni: Connect with us on our social media pages.

But you know that you also know that you can email me at doni_miller@wgte.org.

And for this episode and other additional extras, go to wgte.org/to the point.

I have with me.

If you missed the first segment, I have Doctor Tina Williams and her brother, Doctor Mark Williams.

We're talking about the challenges of families, and one of the reasons we're talking about that is the way that these folks have decided to respond to those challenges locally.

We're going to talk before we leave you today about two great things that are happening on May 2nd.

That's a Friday and May 3rd.

That's a Saturday.

There's a family conference.

There's a concert that's free and open to the public.

This is your or what year is this doing?

Mark: This.

This will be our second year.

Doni: Their second year doing this.

It is.

I was there last year.

It is a wonderful, wonderful event.

But we're going to tell you more about that.

At the end, of our time together today.

I want to talk about some of the other issues that are challenging to families poverty, poverty.

We underestimate the impact of poverty on families all the time.

What are you seeing?

As our family's managing that, what's the impact on those kids on that?

On that structure?

Mark: It has been very difficult.

Actually, being one of the CEOs for the school explores Academy of Scienc and Technology, and we see that, we have many kids is really, actually to pinpoint the behaviors that we see in the schools.

All you have to do is sit with the child once words come out of your mouth.

You understand what's comin from, and it's coming from home.

Sometimes, I have student culture at my school, so I've asked them to have, things where we have, uniforms and we have shoes and we have coats.

Did we give out?

We have, we have we have a food pantry.

If a kid is hungry, we make sure they go home with food for the weekend.

And then also, to be honest with you.

We have school credit card if we have to, we take care of business.

We have to, fast for our students.

But that's one of the main things that I see with our students.

When you have a problem, is there trauma or is it's coming straight from the home or something that they can't afford to have?

Some of them may be ashamed of that with the shoes they have on.

Some may be ashamed of that.

They haircut at the time.

We have some kids, like we don't wear hoodies at our school.

And one, girl came in with a hoodie and we had to fight her to take it off.

And when she pulled the bag, her hair wasn't calm.

So, you know, just things like that.

Doni: So we're paying less attention than.

Than they used to.

Than they used to pay.

Is disciplined less?

Is it?

Is engagement less?

Teen out.

Tina: Parent engagement is very important.

And I do believ I worked in the school systems before I started working at the area office on Aging.

And just some of the same things that Marcus talking about Doctor Williams here.

But, some of the parents are younger.

And what we have seen also is that the parents, they're working, night shifts and the kids are getting up and pretty much.

Doni: Getting themselves ready.

Tina: So when they're walking out the house they're here might not be done because mom is asleep.

She's home health aide or something of that nature, which is not a bad job, but it's just that demand for night shift.

Doni: You know, it's interesting, that you say that in every single thing.

I read it, talked about that.

It talked about moms working, parents working, taking away from children because they have to work.

So when you're dealin with poverty, you have to work.

And the impact on the children is the devastation and the trauma that that you talk about, which then rolls back into the family, is in the family structure.

That's true.

Yeah.

Tina: And so what I like about their school, explores Academy is they provide so many resources for these kids.

They are connecting with stakeholders and different agencies in the community that can help bring resources to these student and expose them to opportunities and things that will help them so that they can feel better.

Because we're also living in the generation in the time where there's a lot of pressure with the the music that we listen to, but just how kids dress and that expectation of the latest and greatest new shoes or all the technology, all these different things that are precious to them.

I like the fact that this school have opportunitie for these kids to have exposure and, different agencies and corporations, even our agency, the Erie Office on Aging, we have the Kinship Navigator program, where we provide resources also for those grandparents that are caring for their grandchildren.

Doni: Which is a major problem, which is a huge issue.

Yes.

At this time.

Tina: Yes.

And if I might say, please, our Kinship Navigator program at the.

Doni: Area office.

Tina: At the Area Office on Aging is an exemplary has an exemplary designation, which means we are nationally recognized and a model for kinship programs in the world because of the work that we do, the resources that we provide and allow, along with our connecting with the school systems, connecting with grandparents all over this communit so that they know that we will, we are available to provide resources.

Doni: You know, another thing to and I'm so glad that you raised that pointing to another, issue that, I ran into as being really prevalent is the issue of discipline.

Now we know what.

Yeah, yeah, I don't even have to finish that sentence.

You know we know what discipline is when coming up in the household tha that we all kind of came up in.

But the thing that was wonderful about that, at least in terms of my life was that it taught me respect.

Mark: Yes it did.

Doni: It taught me respect.

There there was not an elder that you could not you there's nothing you could give me to be disrespectful to an elder.

Because that was just not appropriate.

In my house.

You in the house that I grew up in?

We see less and less of that respect in children today.

Major challenge for families.

Because how does your mom or your dad actually main control, maintain control over the family?

If you've got children who are being disrespectful.

Tina: Right.

So one of the things that I know is that the parents have to keep their leadership and and what I mean by that is that even though we're living in a different time in what we d see with the parents nowadays, too, is a lot of parents are close in age with their.

Doni: With their kids.

Tina: And so that line that mindset is different now.

But what we want to do is continue to empower families, empower these parents.

And that's why I like that that for the conference we'll talk about it.

But they have educational workshop for parents to empower them to.

Doni: I'm so glad you said that, Mark.

Let's talk about that now.

Mark: First thing is, Doni, there's a rule at our school that is coded often by Doctor Woods, and he say, my parents are first, right?

So if you want to have to find another job or find another school, say something about one of its parents.

And the reason why?

Because of wha we're talking about right now, what they go through and the things they have to do to even raise a child.

Doni: Yeah, I want to I want to take this moment to say thank you to doctor was Yusef Woods for getting you guys today.

Mark: Actually, doctor, weeks afterwards.

So yeah, he so he often talks about that at our school about parents being first in Doctor Tino's.

Right.

We constantly we find ourselves, in the office talking to parents for hours.

We think that the point is going to start at 9:00 and we look up is 11 and 12:0 and they're they're crying wee and they're crying and we're talking to them.

We give them all the, the tool that they need to be successful.

So we try to make sure that our parents is first at our school.

Doni: And that's what your that' what your conference is doing.

Mark: Yes, ma'am.

Most definitely doing that.

Doni: And why did you think thi was important to do right now, this parents conference at family conference, as.

Mark: You look at the world, look at our city look what's going on in our city right now, it feel right in place.

And, if you notice, I govern my life and, work my life on my upbringing.

The first thing I ran to when I was, sad or whatever, I ran to music, my piano.

The first thing we want to open up is with our concert.

Because you can releas at a concert, you can come in, you get to cry because.

Guess why everybody's crying.

Yes.

You get to laugh because everybody's laughing.

Doni: Who's at the concert?

Mark: This this concert is going to be, the legendary pastor John Key in new Life.

You have some of the greatest hits out.

Jesus is real.

Yes, I made it.

Clap your hands.

And then we have, Lisa Page Brooks.

You know, she suffered a loss just last year.

She lost her husband last year, and she did a chant on, on Facebook, and it went viral.

Grateful chant.

So she's going to be here with us.

Then we have Tiffany.

Fryer's going to be with us.

And then we have my brother, one of my favorite gospel singers in the world, Bishop John Williams.

And then we have, renewed sons.

The font and family.

We have the Glass City Yout Choir.

It's going to be with us.

And we have this new gospel rapper named Ryan David going to be with us, and he's off the chain.

So we're going to.

Yes.

Doni: And that and that is Friday.

Mark: Friday, May 2nd.

The doors open up at 615, and.

Doni: At Warren.

Mark: It's going to be a warrant.

And we start exactly on time.

All right.

I'll start our concerts on time right at seven.

Doni: And that's free.

That's free and open to the public.

And the family conference is on Saturday.

Mark: Yes, ma'am.

That' going to start Saturday morning.

And, we have I want Doctor Tina to talk about my special guest because Mia was talking and she said some thing that I loved about the Honorable Greg Judge Mathis.

Doni: Who is your keynote?

Mark That's going to be my keynote, the honorable Greg Judge Mathis.

Now, why did I pick him, Doctor Tina?

Tina: Well, because he has a past and he is a resilient judge.

And one of the things that I really like to stand out with him is that he was a young man and he went to jail at a young age, but he when he was in jail, he got his GED.

He came out of jail an he gave back to his community.

So he was the youngest judge in Detroit at the age of 32 years old.

But he gave back to the community.

He rose back up after he had some adversities in his life, and he also opened up a center where he support those that are juveniles that that are at risk, but also to give back and to provide resources for those that are reentering into the community after being incarcerated.

Doni: He's an amazing speaker, amazing, amazing speaker.

And all of this is designed to address those issues that we spent our time together talking about empowering the family, uplifting the family.

Thank you guys for everything you do.

This is such an amazing an I know what a large undertaking it is.

And yes, it is such a great wa to give back to the community.

So if you have a minute, please stop by on May 3rd and May 2nd for the concert and the com friends, you will be really glad you did.

I'm so glad that you joined us today.

Please join us again.

I'll see you next time.

on... To The Point.

Announcer: The views and opinions expressed in To The Point are those of the host of the program and its guests.

They do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of WGTE public media.

To The Point is supporte in part by American Rescue Plan Act fund allocated by the City of Toledo and the Lucas County Commissioners and administered by the Arts Commission.

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Thank you.