Announcer 1: The views and opinions expressed in to the point are those of the host of the program and its guests.

They do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of WGTE public media.

Doni: If you have a mental health condition, you're not alone.

1 in 5 American adults experiences some form of mental illness in any given year and across the population.

One in every 20 adults is living with a serious mental health condition such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, or long term recurring major depression.

As with other serious illnesses, mental illness is not your fault or that of the people around you, but widespread misunderstandings about mental illness remain.

People expect a person with serious mental illness to look visibly different from others, and they may tell someone who doesn't look ill to get over it as if it were that easy.

These misperceptions add to the challenges of living with a mental health condition.

Maria Cano from Nami of Toledo helps us to navigate this important issue.

I'm Doni Miller and welcome to the Point Hey, you can connect with us on our social media pages.

And as you know, all you have to do is email me at Doni underscore Miller at wgte dot org.

If you want to talk a little bit about what you've seen on this show and for this episode and other additional extras, please don't hesitate to go to wgte.org.

To the point I am so excited to introduce to you, Marriah Kornowa.

Did I get it right that Marriah: you did!

Doni: Okay, good good, good.

I'm so bad with names.

She is the executive director of Nami of Greater Toledo, and I want to say to you that my opening remarks came from, in large part, the, website for the National Nami Association, an amazing website.

As we go through our conversation today, I'm going to refer to that website every now and then.

But I really encourage you to take a look at it.

It has all kinds of resources, all kinds of information.

It's really worth spending a few moments on, just like talking to you guys here in town.

You guys are busy.

Busy.

And for those folks who don't know what Nami is, why don't you tell them?

Marriah: Sure.

Nami is the National Alliance for Mental Illness, and we are a local affiliate, one of over 600 across the country, about 38 here in Ohio.

We exist to serve those that have a mental illness and the families that support them.

So we have education classes, we have support groups, we do advocacy, we work at a legislative level.

And then as well as family navigation to help individuals and families navigate these complex systems.

And really that's under three premises.

Earliest interventions matter.

We need to get people connected to resources as soon as possible.

Possible.

And that, the best possible care is important.

So that's cultural competent care.

It's trauma informed care.

And then the third premise is diversion from the criminal justice system.

Many folks that find themselves engaged in the criminal justice system don't belong there.

They need treatment instead.

Doni: You know what I love about the the greater conversation now around mental health is that there is a greater conversation now around mental health.

You you people talk about it all the time.

I have people who will say to me, just in the course of conversation, my therapist said, I mean, are we backing away a little bit from the stigma?

Marriah: I hope so, I think it's still very real.

And a barrier for folks, but I think we are moving to a place where we're normalizing mental health as part of full physical health.

It's one body.

So I think people are recognizing, especially post-Covid, the validity that mental health needs to be a daily practice in self-care and awareness.

Doni: I love the fact that you mentioned self-care as well, because there are certainly significant mental illnesses around, like schizophrenia and bipolar disorder and, and, persistent depression.

But there is also that sort of thing we do to each other when we're not to ourselves.

We're not taking care of ourselves.

Marriah: Yeah.

So it's one of my favorite conversations because I feel like it's almost cliche.

We've talked about self-care.

Go take a trip, go hire that done.

Go get your nails done.

It is actually so much more daily and valuable than those things.

It's drinking your water.

It's saying no, it's getting valuable sleep every day.

Doni: I love saying no.

Thing like no is a complete sentence.

No period.

Period.

No.

Marriah: And it's there.

Yeah.

Right.

Yeah.

And I think we still are always other rising either in service of other people care of our family.

I'll take care of myself when I have time.

I'll get to that.

I'll take a walk.

Maybe tomorrow I'll focus on sleep on the weekend.

Right.

And so we're ignoring the daily requirement for mental health and physical health and our whole body health.

Doni: Right?

Right.

And for those folks who are living with someone with mental illness and who are caretakers, you must have this conversation with them a lot, because that's got to be a pretty difficult journey.

Marriah: Again, be a caretaker, taking care of everybody else.

How are you able to give to anyone if you haven't taken care of yourself?

I actually just heard at a conference recently, you can only give what you're overflowing with, and I thought that was really interesting because if you are tired, if you are hurting, if you are angry, that's what's spilling out.

And so this, awareness of how trauma plays out not only in our daily lives, but also in the workplace.

And that's something I think at Nami is my opportunity.

Coming in new to this position is the staff themselves are in the midst of responding to need.

People show up.

They call for questions because they have an apparent need.

How do we ever change the mental health landscape?

I think we have to get ahead of it.

And I think the opportunity for that is in the workforce.

I think when we can create accountable spaces, spaces for policies, mental health and wellness, and when we can create intentional spaces for normalizing the conversation every day.

Health at work.

I think, is how we can start shifting and being aware when someone's in crisis.

We are so busy and so self-absorbed in our space that I didn't even notice that you were hurting, right?

Doni: Right.

That's way too bad.

Yeah.

So when do you know when?

When.

And this is this is going to sound like such a naive question, but I think that so many people, and especially women are we're just raised to push right through it.

You know, we just are raised to get it done.

We, as my mom used to say, we make a way out of no way, like every single day of our lives.

How do you know when it's too much?

How do I know when I should be calling somebody like Nami?

Marriah: I think it's, You know, we use that word persistent.

I think we have to prepare ourselves for resilience.

This concept of resilience bouncing back.

What are we bouncing back to if we don't have connection?

So this concept of belonging, I think, is really important, making sure that, the realities of social isolation as our, our population is aging.

Have we checked on our neighbor?

Have we called our grandma?

You know, I mean, I think there's things that we should be doing to pay attention.

Along the way for ourselves.

When is it too much?

There are, symptoms of compassion fatigue and burnout when you just.

I can't take anymore when it's not just a bad day, it's snowballing into a bad week.

It's.

It keeps going.

We have to realize we didn't get into a lot of these situations all by ourselves, and it's okay to ask for help.

That's something else I think we have to normalize is, one it's okay to not be okay, but you can't just sit in your tissue.

No, it's okay to not be okay.

Right?

But also you can't stay there, right?

How do we encourage people?

How do we acknowledge and recognize when someone is hurting.

So we also, support the Lucas County Suicide Prevention Coalition, in their efforts to do gatekeeper trainings.

So making sure people know in all of our spheres of influence we're a gatekeeper.

And so recognizing what the symptoms look like when someone is in turmoil or in crisis, you know, their appearances changing, their behaviors changing, you're probably not seeing them as much.

They're they're disengaging, they're withdrawing.

So I think it's, you know, just sort of paying attention a little more leaning in before full out crisis happens.

If we can get people connected to the supports that they need as early as possible, they don't even have to go down these roads of crisis.

We can get people to support right when they need it.

Doni: Yeah.

You know, one thing that is not, this perception, one thing that is absolutely true is that people of color, primarily, black folks and Hispanic folks are slow to enter into mental health care.

What would you say, to somebody out there today that's struggling?

But whose culture is saying, you know, no, we keep our business in-house.

We we we manage in our families.

Marriah: Yeah.

Nami has recognized the need for cultural representation.

We have several leadership initiatives.

And I think while in the past, culture and faith has been a protective factor, it's sort of become also a barrier.

Faith and treatment doesn't have to stand alone.

They work in conjunction in support of one another.

So I think one, we provide, some different Doni: when you talk about faith, you're talking about God will take care of this.

Maariah: Yes.

We can just pray about it or give it over to the give it over to God.

Yeah, yeah.

And while that is a definite treatment methodology that works for people, so does medication.

So does talk therapy.

So do some of these other modalities that we need to encourage people to stay open to.

So we have an African-American leadership initiative that just hosted their 11th annual conference.

We have a Latino forum that is October 3rd.

That's the ninth year for that.

And then we also just started a conference this year with our Middle Eastern, northern African population.

So having that, I can offer all the resources, but and the power of relationships and representation really are what opens the door and sets people on that path to wellness, because someone like me encouraged me, knows my background in some of the challenges I might have in my culture, and helped me approach that differently.

So recognize representation is huge.

Doni: And you would say to them, don't be embarrassed, right?Marriah: Yeah.

We have given so much power to comparison and to shame.

Yeah, yeah.

And I think, you know, when we started to talk about self-care, we got a back way up and talk about self-compassion.

Are you even nice to yourself?

I would never say the things I say to myself.

To you.

I have to beat myself up way beyond anybody else's power to.

Right.

So how do we interrupt that negative self-talk?

Mental health Doni: we all have.

Oh, we all have.

Our brains are not always our friends Marriah: and we make up stories.

Somebody just I just read this too, or heard this at a conference that if some kind of ordeal that upset you happens, write it all down.

Then go back with a highlighter and write down what is actually fact and what your mind made up a story around.

Is that actually true?

It may not be.

So stop getting in your own way right and give yourself grace.

We would always offer that to somebody else.

But boy are we rough on ourselves as you are.

Doni: So hold that thought because I want to pick up there when we come back, okay?

Come back please.

We'll be back in just a moment.

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Doni: Welcome back again.

You can connect with us on our social media pages and you can email me at that address right there.

Donnie Miller at WGTE Dot Org.

For this episode and other additional extras, please go to wgte.org.

To the point we're talking to Marriah.

Kornowa executive director of Nami of Greater Toledo.

Amazing information.

This morning, this first segment.

Thank you so much for that.

And thank you for reminding us that we have to be compassionate to ourselves.

That idea of writing, writing stuff down and then going back and writing down what actually happened, I mean, what great advice that was.

Marriah: Yeah.

We actually hosted a, an amazing speaker, for a trauma conference recently.

And it was really we talk about it all the time as if these other people that we serve or, you know, our friend's child, it's not us.

But at the very beginning, you made a statement.

1 in 5 have a mental health diagnosis.

One I question if that's underreported, but also aren't 5 in 5 of us impacted?

Absolutely.

And that's the pieces we've had for so long.

Said.

We don't talk about that outside the family or or well, you know, we minimize or we just don't talk about it.

And it's time that we acknowledge and truthfully, the generations coming behind us are demanding different.

So when it goes back to the workforce, I think, the numbers say 18 to 29 year olds, 47% are depressed.

Right?

So not amazing.

It's it's amazing.

You what?

Really?

Doni: You know what really made me want to talk to you on this show is that I read, a statistic that suicide was the second leading cause of death for kids between 10 and 14, ten years old.

I mean, you're supposed to be living your best life at ten years old, and something is happening that's making you decide that tomorrow's not worth it.

Marriah: Yeah.

A that's a hard reality.

And again, in our busy lives, families with multiple children, that one's just dramatic or is struggling right now.

How do we give in to that?

And the really the number one in vices always take every risk seriously.

If they're being dramatic and it's a cry for attention, give them attention.

Right.

Yeah.

And I think it goes back to also how we model coping skills.

No, I have it all figured out clearly.

No, none of us really do.

We put people on pedestals all the time as if everybody else has it figured out.

And I'm the only one that that that is struggling here.

And that's not the case.

We all have good days.

We all have bad days.

And it's okay to not be okay.

But we wouldn't leave a baby sitting it.

Why do we leave adults or young adults hurting in their space when we see clearly there's a difference in their personality?

Clearly there's a difference in their appearance.

They don't even like the same things they used to like.

These are all indications, whether or not they're suicidal, that we need to step in and say, hey, what's going on?

Doni: And absolutely, absolutely.

And this whole idea that you should just be able to get over it, you know, put it, but don't think about it, don't worry about it.

Biggest myth out there.

Marriah: And I have personally struggled with mind over matter.

Just get over it.

Or I have a very privileged life.

I don't deserve to be depressed.

And I mean, that is truly my story.

I struggled with my own mental health and awareness because I don't.

I have too many good things.

Just get over yourself, you know, like you're you're being a baby, right?

And instead, I have a chemical imbalance with my hormones.

So what?

You know what I mean.

I don't have any control over that.

I didn't cause it.

It's not my parents fault.

It is truly, a chemical imbalance that I was able to fix with medication.

And I have a very successful, happy, balanced life.

But it also took time.

It took practice.

It took my vulnerability and saying, I need help.

I think one of the most important, steps in my mental health journey was a gratitude practice.

So some may call that prayer.

But every night before I go to bed, I give thanks for ten things.

Try to fall asleep to ten, 15, 20 my dog.

Safe travels, my kid.

They're always in there.

You can repeat, but it's that intention to make it a practice.

We admire physical athletes by their prowess.

They're they're they've they've worked hard to develop those muscles and that skill set, we can do the same thing with mental health practices.

My gratitude is a practice that follows me all day.

When I wake up.

When I wake up, I start acknowledging these things and I have a friend say more about that.

Okay, so, just my practice of giving thanks for ten things.

15, 20 however many I can fall asleep to is my brain practice to stop worrying about everything else that's still going on in my mind, right?

That is part of my sleep hygiene.

Put aside the phone, make sure my my space is conducive for me to fall asleep, and then set the tone in my mind about all that's good.

And I mean literally.

Okay, so these are height, height or what are these kind of chairs, higher chairs.

I had to get up here.

I am going to give thanks that I did not fall off of the seat today.

Right.

You give thanks every step of the way.

It feels corny, it feels forced, but it becomes a practice that works.

So the next day when I could have, I've had a friend that will respond.

I'm having a bad.

I'm having a bad day.

But it's only 830.

Is it a bad day or a challenging moment?

So that's a great rule to all of these external factors.

You know, take back control.

But I say that because that's been a practice, it is not something that you can ignore.

I had to put that into place day over day to make that stick.

Doni: You know, one of the things that that I find that works too, is I am very protective of my space.

I am very protective of my soul and my spirit.

I don't I have learned over all these years on this planet what to let in and what to push back, and it's one of the best things, I think, that people can do to take care of themselves.

You don't have to absorb the whole world.

I don't read my phone very much because the stuff on your phone is can be depressing.

It can be.

Yeah, it's insane that kinds of things that you see on your phone.

So I'm very particular about, you know, what what I'm letting into my space.

Mariah: I just went through a conference this weekend about social media and, changing up the algorithm.

If you're seeing all of this negative, you've got to break that.

If you're not going to stop scrolling, at least change the algorithm and what you're seeing and what you're saying.

Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah.

people really understand that that algorithm is based on, you know, what, you've participated to participate in.

That's right.

So you get more and more of that.

So, if I come to Nami, if I call Nami, what what happens?

Short.

Let me let me tell you, Nami, all of our services are at no cost to the community we serve.

We are funded by the Mental Health and Recovery Services Board and some other funding partners.

And that helps us provide family navigation services.

So any time you come across a mental health barrier, I don't know where to go.

I don't know what to do.

I'm overwhelmed.

Just call us because we're here to help troubleshoot what are the barriers?

What are the things that are keeping you from moving forward?

Or just I don't know what to do.

We're there to listen and help provide some suggestions.

We also have support groups for peers, peer to peer on Monday nights.

We have a Family to family support group on Monday nights as well.

They also have a virtual week throughout the month.

And then we have a young adult support group, and then we have a middle eastern Northern African women's support group.

So those support groups are really helpful.

We also have education classes where if you have a diagnosis, we can give you a short version of that overview of what that might look like, what your treatment options are, just a little bit of a deeper dive and then we have an eight week session where you really get to dive into different, diagnoses and, and treatment options and just strategies and self-care concepts.

And that's our Family to Family education series.

So, you can come to Nami.

A lot of our folks are out in the community at tabling events, just trying to be where people are so we can normalize the fact that mental health should be a part of everyday conversations.

A big piece of what I talk about is allyship in terms of where does mental health belong.

If you're having a conversation, could you bring in the concept of of mental health?

How do we help bring about that mental health as a part of our everyday health care?

Doni: Right.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

Wow.

And what are you seeing as what are people talking to you more about now than maybe before?

You know, again, there's this alignment to whole health, recognizing even the intersect between gut health and mind.

We always still get a lot of needs, perpetually around housing and the need for affordable housing, food insecurity.

I mean, these are all still things that, from a health care perspective, we finally recognize all of these social drivers to health care.

So no wonder they're also a factor in mental health.

So recognizing that, when people need help, that there are places to go, we are a resource rich community.

Absolutely.

If only we knew if only we knew.

So helping share the message that mental health is accessible, that there are resources and stop, putting people in this position where they do feel isolated, let them know they're not alone.

There's resources out there.

Doni: Absolutely.

I say that all the time.

If if there is a need in this community, trust me, there's somebody out there that's trying to help with that need.

You just have to reach out and you just have to, just have to reach out.

So again, I just want to say, as we close, we only have a couple seconds left.

Free.

Free services.

Yep.

No cost.

Doesn't matter.

How much money you make?

Nope.

Doesn't matter if you have insurance.

And that's something I asked for help around too, is we have to destigmatize that.

Mental health is a poverty issue.

While it impacts those in poverty greatly.

Mental health is something that impacts everyone across the board.

Doni: Right.

And I want to leave with like, be good to yourself.

Like give yourself grace and Marriah: be kind to your mind.

Your mind.

Doni: Absolutely.

Thank you Marriah, Marriah: it's my pleasure to be here.

Doni: We're going to do dinner soon.

Marriah: Yes, yes, I'd love that.

Doni: Thank you.

So much for being with us today and I hope to see you next time.

On to the point be kind.

Just because you can.

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They do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of WGTE public media.

Announcer 2: To the point is supported in part by American Rescue Plan Act funds allocated by the City of Toledo and the Lucas County Commissioners and administered by the Arts Commission.

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Thank you.