- Well done, Juan.

Even in death, I have to straighten your tie.

Who bought you this hideous tie?

I was your lover and your secretary working every day of the week.

Should have left your ass a long time ago.

Now I'm not saying I'm a gold digger.

- Oh, you look so handsome.

You're even wearing the tie.

I got you.

Oh, let's get that out where everyone can see it.

I'll never forget the first time we met in that taxidermy class.

One last.

- Hey, long Don Silva.

That's quite an exit you made there, cowboy.

It's our little secret.

This tie brings back memories.

I saved a horse and rode a cowboy, but I'm keeping the assless checks to remember you - By.

What's the reading of the will?

I don't know.

- And here's a little something to remember me by.

Are you kidding me?

What?

- Brigamortis.

Cut.

Take five, everyone.

- So fantastic job in there.

I mean, how did you reach that level of grief?

Was that Meisner or Chekhov?

- Oh, Chekhov.

Yeah.

They were my favorite in Star Trek.

I mean, everybody talks about William Shatner, am I right?

But I personally think Chekhov is - Oh, for - God's sake.

She's asking what inspired your performance.

You know, the acting technique.

Yeah.

If you call that acting.

- Oh, what technique uses real life?

- What do you mean?

- I just lost my husband.

- Oh my goodness.

That seem must have worked back horrible memories.

How did he die?

Car accident?

Cancer, OC.

- Corporate fraud.

Popcorn.

He gets a 10-year vacay at Club Fed and I'm stuck out here broken alone.

All I have left is my big house, my cabana boy Lars.

My little girl, of course.

Probably going to have to give up one of them.

I really don't know if I can go without Lars massages though.

- Aw, boo freaking who?

My heart bleeds for your loss.

Dare I ask why you're subjecting yourself to this nightmare gig.

- Oh, what are you talking about?

It's like Ice Cube said, "Every day on set is a good day."

My grandmother always said that the Lord gives and the Lord takes away, so I took this job.

Listen, the Lord will not put more on you than you can bear.

- And the crafty table here is awesome.

Last set I was on only had an open jar of peanut butter, an expired bottle of Tylenol.

I think that was Tylenol.

- Are you kidding me?

My agent sent me this breakdown and one called Old Crone with Dowager Hump, and I'm starting to regret choosing this one.

- I can't really afford to be picky right now.

And besides, this is my first speaking role.

- Oh, this is my first paying gig.

All right.

You know, I had that OnlyFans thing all wrong.

I might not be 20-something anymore, but I plan to use my God-given gifts as an artist as long as the Lord probably.

You know what?

I know what you need.

You need a roommate.

- That's a great idea.

Then maybe I don't have to choose between Lars and my little girl.

No matter who I picked, I know I'd hear about it.

People can be so judgy.

- Oh my God, just stop.

Both of you.

You, Ditzy.

- Dizzy.

- Same thing.

Yo, you and your.

I'm not picky.

I need money for massages.

And you know, you, two first name.

- Lisa May.

- Right.

You two are the reason why I'm on this low rent set, pushing panties down boner boys pants instead of rocking my dream role.

You know, you two may be okay taking old lady roles, but not me.

I'm done.

Can anyone tell me why men age like a fine wine and women age like a carton of milk with an expiration date?

- What kind of wine pairs with curdled milk?

- No, no.

What I'm saying is when we get wrinkles and gray hair, we are considered old biddies.

- But men, they are distinguished silver foxes with sweat.

And if we want things to change, we need to get mad about it and do something.

- Yeah, I am mad.

I'm, I'm madder than a Taylor Swift song.

- Preach, sister.

It is time for us to go out there and make a little trouble, shake things up on behalf of all who feel invisible.

You know, we will not be limited by stereotypes and we can play any role we want.

And the whole world is going to see that women our age are badass bitches.

Now, - Who's with me?

I want to be a ninja warrior.

- I want to be a romantic leader and I'm going to be an international spy and rebel with a cause.

I want to be a mermaid.

Yeah.

Ladies, BAB on three.

One, two, three.

Badass bitches.

Steve Graves and Steve, back on set.

I got to pee.

- Oh, I just did a little.

Oh, - Wait.

Sample from my last commercial games.

- Back to one.