Announcer: The views and opinions expressed in to the point are those of the hosted, the program and its guests.

They do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of WGTE public media.

Doni: The idea of adopting a child can be a huge and overwhelming decision.

But with more than 100,000 children in foster care and with less than one third of them potentially being adopted, it's certainly worth finding a way to help a child connect with their forever home.

The Adopt America Network is in its 40th year of doing just that.

Join us as we explore this issue with them.

On to the point.

Connect with us on our social media pages.

You may email me at doni _miller@wgte.org for this episode and other additional extras.

Please go to wgte.org/To the point we have with us today, Jessica Swaisgood.

Good and Christy Holtz, both from the Adopt American Network.

Welcome.

Welcome.

Thank you so much for joining us.

This is an amazing topic.

I didn't realize how much mystery surrounded the whole issue of adoption and foster care and all of that sort of angst around something that ought to be a truly amazing experience in your work as being the folks who are really the intermediary between the foster care and the adoption.

Why do you think it's such a tough issue?

Jessica: I think a lot of times it's a tough issue because people they might have heard rumors out there about what adoptions about or foster care they might not really feel like they're prepared to take a child into their home.

I think that's one of the reasons there's kind of like a mystery around it.

Doni: Do you have.

Yeah, there is.

There is a bit of a mystery and a lot of myths, I think, surrounding surrounding it as well.

Is it a difficult process.

Christy: It's not a difficult process per se.

I mean, there is work that goes into it, right?

We're asking you to to take our children into your home.

So we're going to do things like background checks and make sure that you're physically able to care for a child and make sure that you're financially capable of supporting yourself.

And we're we're going to be doing those types of things.

But really, we want to make sure that you know, that you're in a good space and that you are willing to open your hearts and homes to these these kids.

We will train and help educate and support you through dealing with some of the difficulties that come with with our kiddos that have experienced tremendous amount of trauma usually coming into your home.

So we want to help prepare and educate and make sure that you feel supported.

Doni: Yeah, I really want to get back to that point.

The point about the transition for the kids.

So hold that thought.

Don't lose that thought.

But I want to talk about the babies or the kids that are actually available for adoption.

I mean, you before the show, we were talking just about people thinking that there are tons of little babies out there waiting to be adopted.

Not so much.

Jessica: I mean, Adopt America Network has always focused on those kids in foster care.

So we specifically work with only foster care youth.

And typically those children are older.

And that's really where we find a lot of the adoption needs.

Older children can be harder to adopt just because of the some of the experiences and traumas they've had.

They can be harder to raise.

And, you know, the with the groups of kids that we work with, a lot of times they also might be part of a large sibling group.

And it can be really hard to place kids, you know, if there's three or four siblings.

And we you know, really the state tries to do what they can.

So those youth are not divided up.

Sometimes that happens where siblings can't be placed together.

But ultimately the goal is so that way they can all go into one home and be a family together.

Doni: Yeah, this might seem like a pretty obvious question, but why are why are older kids harder to place?

Christy: I think that there's this misconception about our older kids, that our older kids don't want to be adopted or, you know, they've they've been through too much.

And, you know, and that's that's really not true.

Our older kids want permanent loving families as well.

So I think there's a little bit of that that that happens where people get a little scared off by, well, you know, they're 16, 17 and they're already grown.

They don't, you know, but everybody needs a family.

Everybody needs support passed being 18, you know, I still like called my mom before coming on your show to, you know, to say, hey, should I wear this?

You know, everybody needs somebody to call and to have them support them into adulthood and so that's that's why I adopt America really feels passionate about finding permanency for our older kiddos.

Doni: Yeah.

And so it's not too old to adopt a 17 year old is not it's not too old for an adoption.

Christy: No, no.

In fact, some of our recruiters have been able to find families for kids that are 18, 19, even that are still in foster care, waiting, waiting for permanency.

Doni: Yeah, I think what people are afraid of, though, is that they're going to get a child that they have little opportunity to influence.

Like when you when you have a young child, a two year old, even that you have the the grace to be able to raise the joy, to be able to raise.

You think about being able to influence that a child.

And I think there is a concern that when they are ten and maybe a little maybe a little younger than ten, they might be getting into more than they can handle.

Have you heard that?

Jessica: Well, yes.

And I think that when somebody goes in with the mindset to adopt, they have to realize that adopting a child, specifically an older child, it's not about replacing what that child's been through in life, replacing their family.

You're adding on to that child's experiences.

So the adoptive.

Doni: Wonderful way to look at it really is.

Jessica: Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, the adoptive family needs to be realistic with what they're going to be expecting.

And our agency, we provide a lot of that training.

Kristy and her team work with the families to try to make sure they're as best prepared as they can be.

Of course, a lot of that is we can try to prepare you as much as possible, but until that child's actually in your home, you know, you might not know how you're going to react to certain circumstances.

But that's why we really like to provide a lot of resources to our families.

So that way, once they actually have adopted, they're not just left alone on their own.

We really believe in building up families, natural support systems.

So we offer a lot of different support systems at our agency for those parents.

Like what?

So we have a program.

What that stands for is ongoing adoption and kinship program.

Adopt America Network founded that a few years ago because we were finding that once a family adopts a child, a lot of the supports that you get when you're a foster parent, they seem to go away.

Yeah.

And, you know, a lot of families are there to help.

Like when you have a baby, like, for instance, people are there with meals, you know, they're with gifts.

And a lot of times when you're adopting out of foster care, those types of supports, they are just not available.

Doni: They don't have an I never thought about that until you just said that.

But that's so true.

That's so true.

Jessica: Yeah.

So our program, we meet monthly, and that way we offer these adoptive families to get in the same room together and they just network, get support.

Sometimes we have trainings that are helpful to adoptive families as well.

Doni: Mm hmm.

That's really that's that's so important, too.

I mean, if we're going to celebrate the birth of a child, why wouldn't we celebrate the birth of a the introduction of a of a child into a family?

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah.

What kind of skill sets do you provide in in your program in when you're preparing parents for this?

Christy: Yeah, I think it's just having very open conversations about what these children may have experienced, you know, being in foster care.

The big thing, I mean, losing birth family, that that's a big loss.

That's a big trauma that our kids go through.

Not to mention, you know, maybe neglectful situations or abusive situations.

And so all of that affects and impacts our children and how they respond to situations and how they handle things, which looks like behaviors and and things like that.

So we really do spend a lot of time talking about what are you going to what should you expect within this child's placed in your home?

And and what might some of those fears translate into behaviors?

And how do we go about, you know, supporting you through this process?

And so we really focus a lot in the front on educating and on what to expect.

And then once placement happens, we really focus on those supports of making sure that the family is building resiliency and working together as a family unit and understanding each other and and navigating through that until finalization.

And then after finalization, we have a wonderful program that helps provide those post supports to families.

So in five years, when you come up with issues because they're going to come up that you then can have a reliable resource to go back to, to have support.

Doni: Yeah, and the post support program is you.

It's a program.

Jessica: Yes, it is.

Like, for instance, with that, we even have a lot of branches to our program and we've just recently started a group for families who have older adopted children like adult adoptees, so that way they can even come together and share stories about maybe their adopted kids, grandkids.

And because really adopting is just like having your own biological children, you're never done parenting ever.

So we even have support.

My son did that ever?

Absolutely.

Doni: So the one of the things that I think is really important to discuss this morning is that the transition of the child into the family is a difficult process for that.

For that child can be a difficult process for that child.

How do you prepare them, Christy, for that transition?

And considering that they may have come from an abusive situation or just the loss of you, just the loss that they have experienced?

Christy: Sure.

Yes.

So there's a lot of people that are involved with this process.

So the child's going to have workers involved with them that are going to help kind of process what this this is going to look like, you know, process those feelings that they're going to be having.

And then we work more on the family and of, you know, really trying to prepare them.

Now they will look to do pre placement visits.

So, you know, working a slower transition, letting the child come for a day visit or out in the community where it's not as threatening of come into my home and this is where you're going to be forever.

You know so we we try to transition our work a slower transitions so that that everybody's feeling comfortable and good about about things before the child would be placed in the home.

Doni: Thanks so much for that.

We've got much more I'd like to talk about, but we're going to take a short break.

We will be right back.

Jaden: There is a foster care crisis in Lucas County, which is why on this week's edition of On Point, we're asking people what can be done to solve the problem.

What do you think can be done to solve the foster care crisis locally?

Cheryl: Gee, that's hard.

I really feel for those kids.

My mother took in infants, but I think the older ones need a lot of attention.

Chloe: I think we could be doing a lot more for families and parents on how to parent.

So working at a school, I see a lot of parents who need a lot of help and we can help in the school up to only a certain point.

But like, there's like disciplinary things or, you know, anything involved with, you know, mental health resources, this stuff that we could do to help keep kids in the home and educate parents on how they could be better, better parents, but also like a better family unit.

Jaden: What do you think can be done to solve the foster care crisis locally?

Teresa: Probably get more people involved who are interested in fostering children and helping them out.

Jaden: On point this week, I'm Jaden Jefferson.

Doni: Connect with us on our social media pages.

I'd really like to hear from you at my email address though, and that is doni _miller@wgte.org, for this episode and other additional extras.

Go to wgte.org/To the point Jessica's always good and Kristy hopes are joining us this morning.

They're with Adopt America Network.

And we were talking about the transition for kids into adoptive placements.

We tend to think that kids are going to be so thrilled about it and it's going to be so easy when in fact, they're bringing every aspect of their journey, their life's journey with them to that home.

And you guys have this amazing program that we were talking about that helps that helps that transition.

So parents shouldn't let that frighten them, that transition frighten them?

Christy: No, no, not at all.

I mean, especially when you work with an agency that still agent and providing additional supports and being creative with helping you learn some different parenting techniques because our kids take very it's not your traditional parenting.

You have to be flexible.

And it's just a different way of looking at parenting.

So, you know, our families need a lot of support.

So when you have those supports in place and people that you surround yourself with that have been through the process and understand, I think it really helps.

Doni: Yeah, it certainly does.

So let's just let me ask some fundamental questions here.

What does this process cost?

If I'm interested in adopting a child and and want to make it clear that these children are not international adoptions, they are older, adopt older adoptees, and they are mostly in foster care.

Predominantly.

Exclusively.

Jessica: Yes.

For our agency.

Doni: Yes, they're exclusively out of.

What's the process cost?

Jessica: So a lot of people aren't aware of this.

But if you adopt a child out of foster care, there is typically no cost to the family at all.

Right.

If you, you know, work with the Adopt America Network, we actually even are able to match for families nationally.

So we're not even limited just to families here locally in Ohio, we have matching specialists that can look for children in foster care all over the United States, and they don't pay a penny for the services that we offer.

Doni: Any of the services, not the the counseling services or the aftercare support services.

Not that.

Jessica: Yeah.

No, we do a lot of grant funded programing because it's important for us that financials not be a reason for children to not be adopted out of foster care.

So we don't charge for a home study.

We do all of those services for free as well as our support groups and other, and we even have counseling that's available and all we do is just charge Medicaid.

We do not charge families any kinds of services for anything that we offer at Adopt America Network.

Doni: How do how do the parents actually connect with the children?

Jessica: Christy, do you want to answer that one?

Christy: Sure.

So that can come from a variety of different ways as we have families that come in, maybe that know the child, maybe they're aware of the child, maybe it's a distant relative of this child.

So we have, you know, families that come into it from from that angle.

And then we also have families that are brand new, families that are just wanting to start the process and search for waiting children in the system.

So we have matching specialists who are on staff who then, you know, take the time to look at our family's home study and really get a sense of, you know, what do you feel like you can parent, you know, what types of characteristics do you feel like you're able to parent?

And then we go ahead and then we look for children that might have similar needs that could fit and pair well with that family.

And so that that's a big piece of, you know, making that connection happen if the family is not known to that child already.

Doni: So then what happens when the what happens if the family gets the child in?

It just doesn't work.

Jessica: So we do everything that we can to work with that family.

We're very proactive as an agency, so we hope we don't get to that point.

But if a family is absolutely deciding they are not able to take care of a child, a disruption occurs.

That's what it's referred to.

Disruptions, though, can be very traumatic, not only for the adoptive family, but also for the child can have lasting effects for them to be able to be adopted again, because there is, you know, trust issues that come along with being disrupted as a youth.

So we really as an agency, try to do everything that we can in order to support that family through the process.

So they're not finding themselves in that situation.

Doni: Mm hmm.

And another thing that I think frightens folks is the misunderstanding of what an open adoption really is.

So, you know, there's a family at home and they're saying, I'd love to do this, but I just don't know if I want to include that that past life or people from that past life into my family as I move forward.

Would you explain what an open adoption is and when those circumstances occur?

Christy: Sure.

Open adoption would be really at the discretion of the adoptive family.

So it's what they're comfortable with in terms of including birth family or previously known people.

And in that child's life after that child has been adopted and we really encourage that.

Our children are very connected to their birth family, especially when you're adopting an older child.

So the more that a family is open to including it, obviously, if it's appropriate, including some form of communication contact with that child, it usually leads to more successful outcomes.

I mean, really, at the end of the day, we want to wrap our arms around these kids and provide as many positive, supportive people in their lives.

So, really, you know, adoptive families are filling that to some degree, but really we can't dis discredit or dis clude their birth family because they're they're always going to be important to our kiddos.

Doni: Yeah.

You know, one of the major myths, I think, that surrounds this whole issue of adoption is that kids are coming from parents who have given them up because they don't love them or that they've abandoned them just because they they didn't want the responsibility.

That's not what you guys are finding at all, is it?

Jessica: No.

I mean, that's yeah, that's absolutely a myth.

You know, most adoptive sorry, most parents that have their rights relinquished to their children and they the kids end up going either into foster care or with families.

They absolutely love their children.

They themselves just might be in circumstances where maybe they were abused as a child.

Maybe they've had some kind of trauma that is not enabling them to be the best parents they can be.

Foster care, especially in the in the state of Ohio, everything about foster care.

The goal is to make sure those kids go back to their biological family.

Adoption only occurs when that absolutely cannot happen.

So, you know, another myth could be that with adoptive families, they're somehow taking this child right from there.

They're loving, caring family.

And that's just ultimately not what's happening.

The parents typically are given every single possible chance they can in order to get those kids back.

That's the goal.

But that can't always happen.

And when that can't happen, that's when agencies like ours are there to help find supportive families for these kids.

Doni: So what if a family already has kids?

Can can a family have too many kids.

Christy: On the adoption side?

No.

I mean, no.

We have very large families, you know, that that continue to open their home to kids, you know, year after year, you know, foster care looks a little bit different.

There are some parameters around how many kids you can have in a home.

But as far as an adoption or adoptive family, no, You know, we have plenty of large families that we help.

Doni: What about this whole issue of trans cultural adoption?

Many years ago, there was a huge discussion that black kids should be with black families and white kids should be with white families.

And it was better for the chart for the child as I was preparing for this show.

What I noticed is that there is a growing number of trans cultural adoptions.

Doni: Are you seeing that in Lucas County?

Jessica: I would say absolutely.

I mean, we believe that anyone can be a loving parent.

You know, it doesn't matter necessarily the color of your skin, which child you get placed with you and your home.

It's really what we talked about earlier.

It's all about embracing what that child's history is, what their past is.

You know, with a transracial adoption, the family should be embracing the culture of the child.

And as long as you're doing that, at least in my experience, those adoptions have been very successful.

Doni: Mm hmm.

Christy: Yeah.

I mean, I think that falls on us of educating families of, you know, this is this is their identity.

This is something that you need to do diligent work to make sure that it's celebrated in your home.

I mean, we need to make sure that families, if it's, you know, cross-cultural adoption, that, you know, we're paying attention to that and we're making sure that that staying intact for them.

So I think, you know, it's more on the forefront of an agency really educating their families to make sure that they do that.

Doni: Excellent point.

And the whole idea of just embracing the importance of embracing the Chinese culture, which is it's you can do that.

It's a doable thing.

It's in and of itself should not be overwhelming.

Do you ever run into parents who are concerned that the child will will the mother or the parents will want the child back, that they'll lose the child as the parents begin to perhaps adjust whatever issues in their lives caused them to feel as though they needed to give their child up for adoption?

Christy: Yeah, I mean, I don't think that that we come across that very often, you know, And I think, again, that just circles back to just making sure that the family feels supported.

And if it does get overwhelming that that's okay, but that they have somebody to call to help instead of somebody to call to judge them.

I think that's, you know, the unfortunate thing when you don't surround yourself with other adoptive families, you feel very judged and you know, you're not handling the situation correctly.

But it's great when you have a support group like our old program or those supports in place where you can talk to other families who have been through it.

And that way you don't have those fears of, Oh, somebody's going to come in and take them because I'm not doing the.

Doni: Best job Job Absolutely.

Yeah, I know we talked about this in the beginning pretty briefly, but I want to remind people of the eligibility process for adoption because I don't want people to leave today thinking that they can't engage in this process.

You all have been doing this for 40 years.

And again, congratulations for that.

I know that you've you've you've constructed many, many happy families.

And I really want people to understand that they can be part of that group of happy families.

Quickly, can you tell me.

Christy: Sure.

So you have to be 18 years of age or older.

You can be single, married.

You can own your own home.

You can rent.

You want to make sure that you're you're physically capable of of taking care of a child, that you're financially capable as well.

Doni: And if there are any questions, they can just reach out to you.

Absolutely.

I am so glad that you guys were here today.

Thank you so much for discussing this really important topic with me.

And if you'd like more information about Adopt America and the adoption process, there's the contact information on your screen.

Thank you so much for joining me today.

I will see you next week.

On to the Point.

Announcer: The views and opinions expressed in to the point are those of the host, the program and its guests.

They do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of WG Public Media.

This program was made possible in part by viewers like you.